I heard a great bit on CHR morning radio this week. It was about how to best load and maintain your dishwasher.
The discussion was part of the “Ask the Experts” feature on Top 40 Nova 100 Melbourne, Australia. The morning team were Jase [Hawkins] & Lauren [Phillips], who, along with newsman Clint Stanaway, had just become the No. 1 music morning show in Melbourne after fewer than 100 shows on the station.
Jase & Lauren’s win was that much more notable for coming after months of massive national publicity about the arrival at KIIS-FM Melbourne of KIIS-FM Sydney superstars Kyle & Jackie O. That show, one of the world’s best-known in a country where radio hosts are multi-media stars, displaced Jase & Lauren and sent them across the street to Nova.
With echoes of Howard Stern expanding from New York to Philadelphia, the announcement prompted news stories about how “live and local” wouldn’t be enough of a defense against compelling and notorious. During the first week in syndication, one of the show’s wrapped busses showed up at a Jase & Lauren appearance. When Hawkins expressed dismay that KIIS would first fire him, then troll him, Sandilands responded by calling him a “crybaby.”
For anybody who lived through Stern’s ascent, the next part seemed inevitable. But in the first Melbourne ratings, which included the debut, KIIS was flat (5.9-5.9) in mornings. In the just released first full ratings period, Kyle & Jackie O were up to a 6.1. But Jase & Lauren rose 8.7-9.6-9.9 during the same period, up from a 5.0 before their arrival. That made them the No. 1 music show in the market, trailing only N/T AM powerhouse 3AW.
Radio analyst James Cridland believes Kyle & Jackie O’s slow start was a function of launching in Melbourne with what he calls “lazy smut,” not lack of a home-court advantage. In after-ratings comments quoted in Australia’s Radio Today, ARN chief content officer Duncan Campbell emphasizes that “the battle is still on,” and believes the market will eventually hear past the “sexualized content” of that first week.
While it’s true that these are early days, Jase & Lauren deserved a First Listen, just for riding out the initial hype. I heard them briefly during the Olympics. I listened again with more intent on the morning of August 27.
That morning, Jase & Lauren began the 7 a.m. hour by teasing that after 7:30, they would unveil “the one thing we agree on” (and disagreed with their spouses on). At 7:30, they promised an expert who would settle a disagreement that was likely taking place “in every house in Melbourne.”
Around 7:45, the team finally unveiled their expert, a spokesman for a UK electronics association, who happened to have special expertise in dishwashers. The big question, when they worked up to it, was “do you need to rinse your plates first?” The answer was no. It wastes water and actually confuses the appliance’s sensors.
Andrew, the dishwasher expert, also assured listeners that it was safe to wash their wine glasses, and that they only had to run the self-cleaning cycle once a month or so. These discussions, as it happened, had also taken place in at least one house in New Jersey.
The other topic in the 7 a.m. hour was an upcoming remote from a ski area, described as “going to the snow.” (It’s the equivalent of February in Australia.) Hawkins wasn’t much of a skier. His wife had skied into a tree once, distracted by her hunky ski instructor. A friend had gotten drunk après-ski and passed out in the snow. Hawkins assured Phillips that he was now watching YouTube videos so he would know how to install snow chains.
The next break was listener calls on their skiing experiences, although the first caller had actually injured themselves not skiing but at their grandma’s funeral. The second friend broke both wrists on the bunny slope and then “needed a wooden spoon and a spatula” to go to the bathroom. Someone misheard that “spatula” and suddenly each team member had a line about The Bachelor showing up in your bathroom. (“And here’s a rose for you.”)
I only counted three songs in the 7 a.m. The most local topic was the weather — extreme storms the night before. But there were two newscasts. (A 23-year-old who threw a bottle at a referee had been arraigned. Both major supermarket chains were cutting prices. The only entertainment story of the hour — a possible additional season of Yellowstone — was a brief kicker.
But an upcoming morning show contest, the $100,000 Minute, promised to have “all Melbourne winners.” (The mechanics weren’t being explained yet, but listeners would have to guess which minute of the show was worth money.) The station’s current Cash, Car & a Star contest was offering $20,000, a flyaway to Troye Sivan in NYC, and a Suzuki Swift, and seems to be national. In the 8 a.m. hour, a contestant who chose the $5,000 question over a $50 or $500 prize didn’t know that a group of flamingos was called a flamboyant.
In the 8 a.m. hour, the team also replayed a previous celebrity interview, as part of their “first 100 shows” celebration. This one was with Phillips’s friend Matt Damon. (They were apparently close enough that Phillips had taken Damon’s daughter clubbing in Greece. The segment replayed that morning was mostly focused on child-rearing.) “I’m happy you guys are crushing the ratings,” Damon said.
