When is the DJ Allowed to Have a Bad Day?

It seems like a contradiction. For the last 30 years, we have encouraged our morning personalities to stop relying on fake voices and canned bits and share more of themselves with the audience, sometimes including their struggles. But listeners also depend on them for relief from their own bad days.

Last year at Country Radio Seminar, a survey conducted by the research firm SmithGeiger asked listeners what they thought was important from radio personalities: the three most-important traits were “is a real person, not a ‘bot'”; “is authentic”; and “makes me feel good/has a positive outlook.”

When I hear a host on a holiday Monday who says, “I hope you’re enjoying your day off. I have to work,” I cringe. Being on the air, even now, is still probably more glamorous than what the other person is doing. Plus, the likelihood that statement is being made in real time on a holiday Monday is much lower in the voice-tracking era.  We can mostly agree on that one, and that only a few jocks over the years (Howard Stern, Larry Lujack) have made a career out of not having a positive outlook.

So, where’s the line? I opened this question to Facebook friends, who had a lot to say on the topic. Sometimes, opinions were split across the generations, with veteran jocks and programmers most likely to have been instructed to smile at every break. Often, it came down to whether a personality had established enough of a bond with the audience to earn the right to share. 

“The radio personalities who feel like real friends are real people. Share the pain. Make it relatable. End with hope and connection.” – Matt Bailey, Graphs About Songs

“Be who you are. Relate to the audience. We are personalities, not announcers, and personalities have personality. I’m the same on and off the air and listeners appreciate that.” – Terrie Carr, WDHA Northern N.J.

“What we’ve learned over the last 5-7 years is that no one wants to feel like they are alone with [negative feelings]. People want real human interaction. Be real with your audience and make a connection on a bigger level then just ‘text a word to win.’” — Dallas Scott, KXQQ (Q100) Las Vegas

“The biggest response I have gotten is when I’m the most honest, sharing real life. But space it out and balance.” – Jaybeau Jones, Sirius XM and now nights WLS-FM Chicago.

“Be human. You contain multitudes, show them.” — Jojo Girard, retired morning-show host and student-broadcasting advisor

“The answer to ‘how often’ is probably rarely, and ‘under what circumstances’ should be pretty well-defined and part of our secret sauce.” – Bruce Cole

“If an event has happened and it can be shared with a morning team, I think it works. The support is there, shared on-air. On the other hand, I would not suggest a single personality dump on the audience. You’re there to make them feel better.” – Jack Kratoville, WLTW (Lite FM) New York

“For me, morning shows went downhill when they went too personal and sounded like someone suspended a mic over an average office water cooler or middle-school locker room … There is something to be said for the old 1950s/’60s philosophy that a jock should always sound cheerful and upbeat. Getting up and preparing for the daily grind is hard enough for most people. The best thing a morning-radio personality can do is make it easier with humor, good cheer, and service elements.” – WT Koltek

“A radio personality should be a mirror to the market, reflecting how they are feeling. But sharing human feelings like, ‘I’m having a crappy day’ is something every listener can relate to. I’ve always tried to represent the full spectrum of human emotion. I think that separates local radio from any other audio choice.” — Dale Carter, KFKF Kansas City

“The listener really isn’t there because they care if you have a cold … or you’re having a bad day. That said, they would be interested if you had a story about someone else, or somebody that they might be able to help.” – Tom Langmyer, Great Lakes Media

“When it comes to the talent having a bad day, or going through a medical issue, what would you think if your dentist or physician talked about their problems instead of focusing on yours?” – Steve Clem, author and veteran AC PD

“Super P1s who text or call the station may give a false sense of caring about how the host is feeling. [More passive listeners] just aren’t that invested. It’s like walking into a party where you know a few people and announcing you’ve got a mental health issue … To start sharing personal stories or anything heavy, you need trust with the audience and it takes years to build that … My free advice: be the light in your listeners’ day. There’s enough negativity in the world right now.” – Russell James, PD Pattison Media, Vancouver

“In 52 years of being on the air, I certainly had a few bad days; however, I never let that show to listeners.” – Mike Novak, CEO emeritus, K-LOVE/Air 1

“Like everything, it should be listener-focused. Why is it a bad day? Is there an ‘I can relate’ element? Stayed up too late? Car trouble? Kids? Is it used as an element to let listeners comment, vent, etc. Or is it someone just being whiny?” – Veteran Michigan PD Jerry Noble, best known in these pages for his Song of Summer predictions

Veteran Buffalo, N.Y., programmer Rob Lucas recently heard a DJ play George Harrison’s “What Is Life” and ask “why is it so hard?” Besides the bummer aspect, the question offered problems with no solutions, he says. The bit could have been better by segueing into some positive advice (e.g., “sometimes we make it harder than it has to be. Sometimes just letting things happen organically, rather than forcing them, can be great.”

“Is the reason for my funk relatable? Does it serve the station and the listener to share it? Do I have an angle to [say] something positive or hopeful about this issue? If it’s yes to all three, I’ll put it on the air.” – Dave Stewart, WCBS-FM New York

“If you can turn the ‘I’ into ‘you,’ you can make just about anything work. For example, ‘If you’ve ever had one of those days where you woke up with a pounding headache, the alarm didn’t go off and you were late to work, but first had to stop on the way to get gas because someone borrowed your car and didn’t fill it, then when you fight the traffic and finally get to work, your boss snarls, “Where were you? You missed the meeting.” If you’ve ever had one of those days, I hope you’ll bear with me today.’”—Beyond Powerful Radio author/talent coach Valerie Geller

“I had my daughter’s junior prom to prepare for last week, and it was supposed to rain. I asked the audience for good vibes and no rain, at least for when they were taking pictures. I don’t think that is bitching, exactly.” – Michele Amabile, WWZY (Boss 107.1) Monmouth/Ocean, NJ

“Fans won’t care about your problems until you make them care about you. How do you make them care about you? Prove you care about them. That just takes time. Many of us (including myself) have made the mistake of expecting fans to care, not realizing the real connection hadn’t been made yet.” – Chris Cruise, Throwback 2K

“This is why morning shows need time to grow. Amazing things can happen when you’ve gained an audience’s trust. Not just ratings, but a real chance to do some huge good for the community you’re in.” — James Rabe, Townsquare Media

“Depends on how much your listeners feel related to you. A longstanding morning personality, for instance, has more leeway to be their authentic self than someone playing the hits and reading liner cards.” – Jack Casey, former GM WERS Boston

“We are people’s escape. Be friendly and happy … unless something major is happening, like divorce, poor health, death of a loved one, etc. Those topics are very relatable. Most complaining seems petty and lends itself to criticism, as a listener may have something more serious going on.” — Greg Carpenter, PD WLIF/MD WWMX Baltimore

“I think if you’re not sounding like an entitled idiot, it’s OK to share some of that stuff. If you were saying the barista screwed up your order … that’s not good. If you’re complaining about contractors not showing up to do your home renovation, that’s also not good, because a lot of people can’t afford to even think about doing something like that. If you get hit by an idiot driver who totals your car, I’d say you could talk about that.” – Peter King, CBS News

“Nobody sympathizes with a person who works only four hours a day, with the option to sit down while doing it.” – KJ Carson, WEEI Boston

“Thinking of all the job descriptions my listeners have compared to what I’m doing playing radio, I have a hard time sharing my down days. I can suck it up and be a fun, happy friend on the radio.” — Barry McKay, WGH (Eagle 97.3) Norfolk and more

“An occasional peek into the personality’s life is a bond. I have shared personal info, but never a ‘I hate being here’ break, as I could hear the listener saying, ‘Then why are you here?’ Plus, I always loved being there.” — Gary Spears, retired Chicago radio legend

“Perhaps an overlooked aspect of [this] subject is that being on the air in those days really was fun, you did not have to fake it. Maybe even the most positive aspect of our careers in those days was that we so enjoyed the work.” – Veteran broadcaster/trade magazine publisher Ron Brandon

“Last year I had a foot amputation and did my broadcasts from the hospital and during physical therapy. Never missed a single day. I tried to put a happy face on a rotten happening … Life happens. If you are gloomy on the air people don’t like that. If you put the best outlook on life they do.” – Martin Hensley, wnapfm.com 

Former WCBS New York anchor Anita Bonita once had an on-air migraine “so strong that it slurred my speech … by that time, I had enough of a relationship with my listeners, ‘I know it sounds like I’ve been doing something I shouldn’t, but it’s a migraine, and it will pass.’”

Dianna Kelly Monk, who is now the GM at Vol State’s WVCP, recalls pushing through until the end of a shift when she got dire family news, and keeping it private. But when her water broke in the studio, that she shared. “My audience could relate … and it did not kill the vibe of our uptempo show.”

Ben Reed of Lee Family Radio had a seven-year chronic condition requiring daily pain medication. “I had days that sounded like crap and my audience knew it … but I also thought to myself, ‘Somebody out there has it worse than I do.’” Ultimately, though, “my audience supported me with hospital visits, helped me wash my clothes and ultimately get over the illness.”

“Mix in Boston has made honesty and real life a hallmark of our efforts every day. It’s brought some sad situations to the airwaves, but it’s incredibly connected us to the community. Whether it be fights with breast cancer, unexpected surgeries, depression, we talk about it, it’s real, and it bonds us to the listeners. I don’t think we’ve gotten to number one without this level of realism.” – Mike Mullaney, WWBX [Mix 104.1] Boston

A final word from NPR media critic Eric Deggans. “I think that’s where the talent of the broadcaster comes through. I watched in real time the moment when David Letterman admitted on air he’d had an affair with someone on his staff. and although he frankly got away with an abuse of his authority which wouldn’t fly today, he was masterful in how he related the story in a way which exposed his vulnerability but kept the audience on his side … If the on-air personality is talented enough and is (or seems) genuine, they can do it. It could even be a landmark moment of connection with listeners.”